The adventures of john marston and troll!
by henman
Summary: john marston teams up with troll face to save the world and go on Epic adventures! each chapter is a new story! rated M for language and adult themes
1. John marston and troll in: OMGZ

**Hey guys just so you know I mean know offense to anyone. and no this inst a serious story-enjoy! *improved version***

john Marston stood in front of the armadillo saloon, After a long grueling battle against the undead hordes. In the middle of the saloon the lifeless already decayed corpses lay in the floor "damn",john said softly, "looks like this party" *john puts on sunglasses * "is dead" YEAAAAAAAAAAAA!

2 hours later

john was at the border of Mexico, the scent of tequila, piss, and tacos were strong, but john was like wateves and rode into Mexico crossing ramita de la baya he pulled out his iphone went on to facebook and was like "in mexico ujelly?"

three minutes later he received an update **Landon rickets likes your status** john was all like :D

2 more hours later

john marston was in escalera the sun was setting and john was ready to end the undead apocalypse just then he heard another gunshot and there stood troll face himself john was all like :D and then all the zombies died troll face went to john and john was like "lets go see landon rickets" and troll face was like "fdat" but john automatically shit his britches, and troll face could not resist.

3 hours later

john and troll face arrived at beechers hope and

john was like wtf "how we get her?"

john walked inside and found jack watching reading a book titled "how to be gay" John ripped the book from his hands and beat him over the head with it before throwing him into the fire-place. John and troll face then walked outside again. When they got out there johns house exploded and john was all like "FML" then jack(who was on fire) ran outside and shit 800 zombies before he died a fiery death then all the zombies where like "umad bro?" john pulled out his gun and started shooting at a bird troll face pissed on the burnt rubble of the house and the house magically rebuilt itself. The zombies were all like "HAXX" but troll face was like FTW john went into his house and got naked all of a sudden the zombies started speaking spanish then flew to mexico when they got there they all got ran over by a train and then russia came back in time and nuked escalera ending the zombie curse.

John who was in his room, naked, started playing Roblox and troll face was like "gay" john replied by saying that troll face's mother was gay then troll face was like "FUUUU" but troll face decided to pop john in the balls. John bent over he was in pain his sensitive testicles had taken a serious blow john went on facebook and uploaded a picture of his dick. It got one like by edgar ross john was like "eww" then he rode to blackwater and shot ross. When he returned he grabbed troll face and made violent butt secks to him for the next 20 years.

Thats when john realized that he was the son of chuck norris then they all died.

THE END

**New tales lie ahead -**


	2. john marston and troll in: FAIL pt1

**As requested, I have decided to write a sequel! This one takes place in normal red dead redemption but I guarantee it to be nearly twice as funny! red dead redemption, Mine? Nah its rockstars however I am a die hard fan here we go **

**John Marston and troll in: FAIL**

John Marston was watching youtube in his room, he loved watching minecraft videos and decided to add a mod to his minecraft game, he downloaded everything and went to play the game however HE FORGOT TO BACK UP HIS FILES! When he ran minecraft it crashed John was like "FUUUUU" John was furious.

He stormed out of his home. his wife, abigags on dick, was like "were is joo goin?" and john was like "bitch dis is sum serious buis" he mounted his horse and rode to blackwater

When he arrived he went to the train station and was like "mah computer is no worky joo fix it plz" the clerk just looked at him and said "your fuckin nuts dude" John was like :( and walked out. Then he saw his idol troll-face had returned. John was like "OMGZZZZZZ JOO IS AWESOME" and troll-face was like "lets go TUMBLEWEED" john was like "uhh dat place is scary" troll-face responded "we is goin umad? John had to comply then they rode to tumbleweed.

John and troll-face reached tumbleweed, it was night, john shit his britches for the second time that week he was scared. They advanced up into TEH SPOOKY MASION OF FAIL! When they got in there john found his son jack sucking on a lollypop NOT! IT WAS EDGAR ROSS' DICK! Right then and there john had an epiphany about his sons homosexuality and began beating the shit out of young jack with his bare hands.

While john abused his fag of a son,troll-face was looking over edgar ross' cock "BABY PENUS" troll-face exclaimed Ross was like "you asshole" troll-face replied with "trolololololol" Then the fighting ceased john raised himself from his son,jack, who was beaten to a pulp, stood up too, covered in blood, the four men looked over at the door to see bonnie macfarlane standing there in the doorway. Johns penis became erect at the sight of the blonde she asked "what the hell is goin on here?" troll-face Was like "me gusta" at the sight of her voluptuous titties they were well rounded yet smooth and silky looking, like rubbing your hand on a giant smooth warm tomato, her outfit was a bit more revealing than most woman attire her cleavage was clearly visible and you could see her nipples poking out through her shirt a side effect of the cool night air...**wait WTF this isnt an erotic story why did I just go into incredibly hot detail about bonnies breasts cough cough uh mmmhmm anyway lets start back at... **Troll-face was like "me gusta at the sight of of her titties john was not hesitant for he was gripped by jealousy he immediately KICKED TROLL-FACE RIGHT IN DEEZ NUTZ BITCH! By deez nutz I mean the testicles of troll-face as you probably guessed.

Bonnie was like "so what do yall wanna do?" troll-face replied "wut it doznt matter this is all just a story written by some teenage gamer at 2:30 in the morning". "AWW SHITT! AWW FUCK!" john yelled as the house started shaking in a large tremors John immediately fell to the ground and started having a seizure going "Awawwablbulbublbulbualuwalub lul" as he flopped and flayed all over the floor. "WHAT THE HELL DID HE DO!?" bonnie screamed looking from Jack to troll-face"HE BROKE THE FOURTH WALL WE GOTTA GET DA FUCK OUTTA HERE!" jack yelled to bonnie over the shaking and sounds of glass and furniture falling. All of a sudden the chandelier hanging over-head's rope snapped from the tremors and fell on top of edgar ross killing him. Jack ran to bonnie, grabbed her and dove out of the nearest window with her in his arms. He got on his horse named rarity and galloped of just as he left the town he saw troll-face run out of the mansion before it completely collapsed with his father inside...

**TO BE CONTINUED...**

**sorry if the story got too serious and actiony, dont worry ill try to fix troll-face's fuck up in the next chapter...**


End file.
